New To Sex

Sex is a right of passage and an experience that is fundamental to the human condition. It is an incredibly enjoyable act that is not only physically pleasurable, but provides a way for two people to connect to each other in a very intimate and special way. However, the decision of when to have sex is a very personal one that each individual must make for themselves. But being informed about what to expect can help you to make an informed decision about whether or not you are ready to have sex.

First, people mean different things by the phrase 'have sex.' Some people consider that they are no longer virgins if they have had oral sex or been penetrated by fingers instead of a penis. But in the traditional sense of the word, sex refers to sexual intercourse between a man and a woman where there is penetration of the vagina by the penis such that the hymen 'breaks' in the vaginal canal. This is the cause of pain that women may feel and the source of any blood that comes out of the vagina when a woman has sexual intercourse for the first time.

There is a general rule that says that you shouldn't expect your first time at sex to be very 'good.' This is particularly true if both partners are virgins when they have sex for the first time. For the woman, sex can be somewhat painful at first. But a patient and caring partner should be able to limit this pain by being sure that he is well lubricated before entering her. He should also be very sensitive to how far he enters her at first - going slow and allowing her to adjust to the sensation is important (although it may be hard to do when you are enjoying yourself so immensely at the same time!)

For the man, it is common for the first time he has sex to be rather awkward and/or rather short. You can help to eliminate the first problem by first locating her vaginal opening with your fingers. Make sure that she is wet (meaning she is turned on enough that her vagina had produced lubricant) before you try to enter her vagina. Use one hand to guide your cock into her vagina and move slowly at first until you get a sense of how deep and how far back you should move.

It is very common for a man to cum very quickly the first time he has sex because the sensation of actually entering a woman will be incredibly intense and the man often gets overexcited and ejaculates earlier than he intended to. If this happens, don't worry or become embarrassed. It's likely that you will be ready to go again before too long. But in order to make sure that your girl understands that this was unusual, make sure that you explain to your partner, especially if she is inexperienced, that this first session was not the way it will normally be. That will encourage her to try again when you are ready to go.

Before you decide to have sex though, you need to consider some things. If you are a virgin or are relatively inexperienced, the whole experience of sex, from the physical to the emotional, can be a bit overwhelming. You will be exposing yourself and your vulnerability to someone in a way that you never have before. You will be learning about your body and your partner's, as well as what each of you desires and needs in order to reach orgasm. Plus, you will be hit with some emotions that you might not have expected.

For all of these reasons, it's a good idea to be cautious in choosing both your first partner and the first time that you have sex. You will want to look for a partner that can provide you with what will make your first sexual experiences enjoyable. That will likely mean someone that you feel comfortable talking to about sex and who will be willing to take the entire process at a pace that you feel comfortable with. Don't allow someone to pressure you into taking steps that you are not ready to take. You have every right to expect that your potential sexual partner is respectful of your wishes regarding how quickly you move forward towards having sex.

In fact, you need to find someone that you are comfortable communicating with for another reason; the fact that you are exposing your health and well being to the actions of another person. This may sound dramatic, but it is a fact. Sex is a wonderful, fun, exciting expression of your feelings for another person (even if they are only carnal in nature!), but it is also an act which requires some responsible behavior in order to avoid some rather serious, possible consequences.

Pregnancy is a real possibility for any man and woman who engage in sexual intercourse and are of child-bearing age. Neither partner should just 'assume' that the other one has taken care of the birth control aspect of your sex life. If you are not sure what kind of birth control option is right for you, make an appointment with the local sexual health clinic or your healthcare professional.

Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are a real and serious risk of having a sex life as well. Some of them are easily treatable, while others, if contracted, cannot be cured. You reduce the risk of contracting an STD by using a latex condom, but the risk is not entirely eliminated because if your skin comes in contact with an area of their skin that is infected, you can contract an STD - condom or not. The only way to be 100% sure that you do not contract an STD of some kind is through abstinence. But that is not only an unrealistic idea for most people - it's just not a fun or pleasurable one! If you act responsibly by getting the proper tests and taking the right precautions, then there's no reason that you should let these thing prevent you from enjoying a healthy and vibrant sex life.

You will learn in time that the key to a healthy and fulfilling sex life is, in general, communication. From the first times that you have sex when you will need to tell your partner what your concerns or fears are, to later times when you are more experienced and confident in being able to tell your partner what you need, communicating with him or her is vital. If you encounter any problems as a couple, you will also want to be able to discuss them openly and honestly so that you can solve them and move forward.

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