How To Get Your Girl To Orgasm

Getting a woman to orgasm takes a combination of communication, patience and skill. You have to be able to understand what she wants and needs, and then you have to take the time to learn how to give it to her. Although for most women to be able to cum you'll need to put in some effort, the reward will be worth it when you find yourself with a woman who can't wait to get back into bed with you and do it again.

Start by observing her during sex. Is she really participating or is she holding back? Does she lie there and let you do everything, or does she tell you what to do and then take the initiative to ask you what you want her to do to you? If you've got a partner who is very passive during sex, it's time to find out why. Communication is key here. She might simply be inexperienced and not quite know what to do. You'll need to take a more proactive role until she starts to understand what she likes and how to ask for it. You may find out that she thinks that "good girls" don't enjoy sex - that it's a duty, not a joy. Well, then you have the enviable task ahead of you of showing her just how pleasurable it can be. Or you could find out that due to some kind of past trauma like abuse or rape, she is not able to relax during sex.

In all of these cases, you need to start out slowly. You'll want to make sex not just a physical act, but a method of becoming more intimate with each other. Focus on seducing her entire being, not just her body. Create a romantic environment with candlelight, soft music, a nice dinner. Show her that you're really interested in seducing her, not just fucking her. When it gets to the bedroom, treat her body as if it is the most beautiful and cherished thing you've ever been lucky enough to have your hands on (even and especially if it isn't!). Massage and kiss her all over. Whisper how beautiful she is; let her know how desirable you find her. In fact, the longer you linger on foreplay and the more aroused you get her before moving on to direct sexual contact, the more likely you'll be to get her to climax. Run your hands and mouth along her inner thighs, her belly, but ignore her pussy at first - you might get to the point that she starts begging you to do more.

When you do get to the point of doing more, realize that many women can only experience an orgasm from stimulation to the clitoris. Others can have one from intercourse alone, but they are not the majority. So start with trying for a clitoral orgasm, then once both she and you know that you can make her cum, she may find it easier to have a vaginal orgasm too. You can play with her clit with your fingers, your mouth, or both. Start with gentle, teasing pressure on the hood, then pull it back and apply pressure directly to the clit - but be gentle - over stimulating it will just be uncomfortable, not hot. Encourage her to respond to you and to let you know if what you're doing is working for her. Once you do have intercourse, be willing to try different positions so that you can try to hit the G spot. In fact, the best positions for her are ones where you can also play with her clit. The combination of your cock inside of her and your thumb or finger rubbing her clit may just drive her over the edge. Try doggie style or put her on her back with a pillow under her ass and kneel between her legs.

If you still can't get your girl to cum, try some other techniques. Ask her to masturbate for you. Tell her you want to watch her touch herself so that you learn exactly what to do to make her cum. Some women may be shy, but if you convince her how hot it makes you to watch her, she will probably eventually agree to do it. You might even try to give her a new toy like a vibrator and then experiment with it together. You could also try things like blindfolding or handcuffing her if she's willing - sometimes giving up control or not knowing what you're about to do to her can turn her on so much that when you finally do touch her, it will be more effective.

So you're communicating, taking your time and learning about what turns her on and drives her wild - so how do you actually know if she is having an orgasm or not? Lots of women have gotten really good at faking it over the years because they've gotten used to not being able to have an orgasm with a partner and so they feel like it's better to just let the man believe that they have succeeded in making her cum. There is no 100% surefire way to know if she has actually cum, but there are some signs.

For some women, their nipples will harden and enlarge at orgasm, although for others this happens before the actual orgasm. The wetter she is getting, the better job you are doing, although a woman can get very wet without having an actual orgasm. The clearest sign would be the involuntary muscular contractions that occur in the vagina and sometimes the abdomen during an orgasm. Her kegel muscles will contract and spasm and some women will release more fluid from their vagina or their urethra. The release of fluid from the urethra, called the "female ejaculation" doesn't happen to many women, and doesn't necessarily lead to a better orgasm. So don't feel like you haven't really made her cum unless you make her squirt - it simply doesn't occur in many women.

If you're lucky, your woman is clearly cumming because she screams, digs her nails into your back, contracts her muscles and grabs you hard. But realize that for most women, orgasms are easier to achieve with someone they know, trust and feel comfortable with. So if you are a person who has one night stands but rarely has relationships, you may not be able to tell for certain what is happening in your lover's body. The longer you're with a woman and the more she trusts you and your feelings towards her, the more likely she'll be to tell you what she wants and to show you when you've given it to her.

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