Top 10 Mistakes Women Make In Bed
After conducting a poll at a local college and sex positive workshop, here are the top ten mistakes women--and men--feel that women make in the bedroom:
1) Not knowing enough about anatomy.
Women who are great in bed know how the penis works. Just knowing which end goes where won't cut it. You need to know where the hot spots are; like under the scrotum and the tip of the penis for starters. Buy a sex or anatomy book and study it, you will find out that caressing the tip of the penis causes more erection than just rubbing the shaft--although he probably won't complain much if that's all you do. Knowing is the difference between being good in bed and being great. Explore all the erogenous zones on a man as well, there are as many as on a woman.
2) Expecting him to be able to read your mind.
The number one complaint from men about how women behave in bed is the lack of communication as to what gets you hot. If you want him to eat you out and he doesn't know that, you can't complain that that's the reason you didn't orgasm. You need to be comfortable with talking to him during sex, and this is an incredibly big turn on for them. Tell him what you want and ask him what he'd like you to do. The excited whispering and heavy breathing during sex is all part of the intimacy which makes for great orgasms and genuine closeness for couples.
3) Faking interest in sex once you're in a relationship.
Another complaint high on the list from men is women who appear to be hot for sex during the first few months of the relationship, and then turn cold once they have him committed. Pretending he turns you on when he doesn't just so you don't have to be alone on a Saturday night is the wrong way to develop intimacy--and then you complain because he has a lack of commitment. If sex turns boring, work a little to spice it up, by being open to trying new things and being open minded.
4) Never initiating sex.
Leaving it all up to him makes him feel as if you don't like sex or are not turned on by him. Again, this could be about your self conscious hang ups, or it could be that you are really not interested. If it's about hang ups, be willing to let loose a little, and surprise him by initiating sex and foreplay. He'll respond to your sexy phone calls in the middle of the day by being all that much more interested when he gets home--but don't promise something that you're unwilling to deliver, either.
5) Being paranoid about your body.
He likes it enough to want to sleep with you, so leave it at that. If you're really not okay with your body, fake it. Pretend your breasts are perky and your tummy is flat, whatever you need to do to let go and enjoy yourself. Guys want to have fun in bed, not make the entire evening about validating your feelings.
6) Being afraid to try new things.
A little flavored lubricant doesn't make you a slut. Try working through any hang ups you might have by trying something--anything--new. Do it with the lights on, just once. Guys like candlelight as much as women do, it makes the curves look good and the skin tone stand out. Missionary style position in a dark room gets old after awhile. Try doing it in the shower or someplace else you would normally not think of.
7) Shying away from oral sex.
Most women don't like to give head with good reason. It can take forever and your jaw can often end up sore. But if you like getting it, then you've got to reciprocate. Read a good article on how to give head and start practicing. He'll be blown away when you initiate it.
8) Lack of surprise.
One of the biggest complaints is that women expect the guy to initiate everything or anything out of the ordinary, and then they get angry that the guy tried to surprise them. Most women's hang ups around sex have to do with the way they see themselves physically or what people might think of them. This Victorian era style of repressed sexuality wasn't even real. The Victorians were far from prudes--in the bedroom, anyway. They talked a good line about being proper but when they were alone--watch out...
9) Not acting out fantasies (and making him feel he can't either).
Acting out fantasies goes both ways. Meet him in the bedroom--or wherever--dressed like a milk maid or in a leather strapless. Take a trip to the adult toy store alone or with your best friend and get something you think is outrageous! Even something as simple as a pair of furry handcuffs will surprise him if that's uncharacteristic of you. Everyone has sexual fantasies that don't involve sleeping with a celebrity, so work through it by spicing up yours (and his) passions.
10) Conversations that are a turn off in bed.
Don't talk about your day when you're in bed. Save the heavy discussions for after dinner, before bedtime. Nothing makes a relationship more hum drum in the sex department by practically picking a fight before sex--unless that's part of your fantasy, to have dirty makeup sex!--You can whisper dirty words, that's great, but a laundry list regarding your relationship is sure to put a damper on the evening.
These were the top ten mistakes women make in bed as expressed by college students at a local college and an impromptu interview with some of the members from a local sex positive nightclub. The ages spanned from around 22-50 - and it's interesting to note, the age of the men asked didn't seem to matter much, as the top ten were taken from approximately 60% of the answers.
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